I used to think that anyone who saw things or heard things or had any sort of psychotic symptoms had to be Schizophrenic. I even thought that when I started having the symptoms, but it isn’t true. People can have mood disorders and just have psychotic features. People can also have anxiety disorders and have psychotic symptoms. I still think that there’s probably a good likelihood that I have Schizophrenia or at least have Schizotypal Personality Disorder, but my doctor still classifies me as Bipolar with Psychotic Features. Psychiatrists probably came up with the psychotic features classification as a way of getting around having to diagnose people with multiple mental illnesses. Doctors don’t like to make more than one diagnosis. They’ll sometimes make two, but that usually consists of one Axis I (Mood Disorders, Anxiety Disorders, Schizophrenia, Sexual Disorders, etc.) and one Axis II (Mental Retardation and Personality Disorders). People can have multiple personality disorders (not MPD which is now Dissociative Identity Disorder, but multiple disorders related to their personality), though. In fact, the DSM recognizes that often times people have the symptoms for more than one personality disorder at a time. I actually have enough symptoms for 4 personality disorders, 2 mood disorders, and Schizophrenia. Chances are the only diagnoses that will ever be made for me are Bipolar (though I don’t actually get manic) and Borderline Personality Disorder.
I made an appointment this morning to see my old psychologist. I had to make sure that he takes Medicare and Medicaid first because mental health visits are expensive. My psychiatrist only takes Medicare, so I have to pay him $30 per visit. I’m used to getting free appointments because of my insurance, but a lot of doctors don’t take Medicaid. I get that it’s a difficult to deal with insurance, but I think that they could see more patients if they took it. Of course, they may not want to see Medicaid patients because we’re not high enough class. Instead we get shipped to clinics with doctors who don’t care. It absolutely sucks to go to a doctor and know that they don’t view you as a person. They just see you as a person who is wasting their time. That’s kind of how the doctor that wanted to send me to the hospital viewed me. She was supposed to get off work at 3:00, and she had to see me since my psychiatrist was busy. So what was her solution? Don’t actually try to work with the patient, just ship her off to the hospital.
I’m trying to promote Celestial as much as possible. I know it isn’t active, but I think there is a very good solution to that. Get people to join who will actually post. Most of the “people” posting these days are spammers. I want real people who post about real things. I’ve never been able to get my boards to be as successful as other boards. A more popular person could start a board today and get the same amount of posts in its first week that we’ve had in our first 8 months since I reset the board. I added a new section for Mental Health, if you’re interested in posting on that. I know some people think that people should only post on new topics, but I would love to get activity on all the topics on the board. It doesn’t matter how old the post is. Please go join and post at Celestial. And encourage other people to join and post. I think if enough people get the message out about Celestial, the board will have lots of posts in no time.
How is it that some people are able to get extremely popular on the net and others can’t? I have to admit I get a bit jealous that there are people who haven’t posted long who get tons of comments, when I do good to get one. I know I took a long hiatus from posting, but there weren’t even many comments asking where I was or urging me to come back. It kind of makes a person feel like what they say doesn’t matter. It’s like I’m talking to myself sometimes, and I hate that. I’m not asking for 20 comments per entry, but I would like more than one.
Does anyone know of some good plugins for WP? I’d like to have some more, but I don’t know where to look.
I still have 67,000 comments to go through in moderation. I think they’re probably all spam, but I still have to go through them all. It’s exhausting.
I can’t believe I turn 23 in less than 2 weeks. I still haven’t done so many things that someone my age should have done. My love life problems have really gotten pathetic. A person should have their first kiss before now. It looks like I’m never going to get kissed or have a boyfriend or get married or any of the other things that I’d hoped to accomplish before this point in my life. And I have to come up with reasons why none of this has happened for my psychiatrist because it is so abnormal for someone to have never dated.
Why do I have to be such an unlovable freak?