I’m not dead. I haven’t gone through any of my moderated messages (all 1370 of them) yet, but I’m sure that someone asked if I was okay. The truth is that I don’t know. This past month has been hectic, but I’ve survived, which I guess is a good thing.
Do you remember how I had to go on Inderal to reduce my tremors caused by Lithium? Well, since Inderal is a blood pressure medication and my blood pressure tends to run on the low end of normal, which is a weird thing for a “fat girl”, the Inderal was causing me to feel faint and to almost fall several times a day. I cut down to one pill at night. Well, since I cut that down, the 1200 mg of Lithium started doing a number on my tremors. I couldn’t handle money or anything valuable. I could punch in my PIN number or sign my own name. My mom and I decided that it was time that I lower my Lithium dosage until it’s time for me to go see my psychiatrist. It’s kind of working. I still shake, and now I’m more depressed.
Speaking of being depressed, which is something my Art of Interviewing doesn’t really understand, I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping and not wanting to stop sleeping. I’ve just been trying to avoid reality and pain and stress. It didn’t work, but I feel a little better rested than I have in a while. That doesn’t mean that once I finish this entry that I won’t go get on the couch and go back to sleep. Actually, I can’t go back to sleep today. I have my last final and my last speech to prepare for for tomorrow. Bleh.
I also need to type up a letter saying how bad my Art of Interviewing teacher has been. I have to remember how she had a “strict dress code” that only applied to people who weren’t a part of her clique. I have to remember the extreme favoritism that she showed towards said clique. I have to remember that the woman who said she didn’t cuss anymore used several profane words when yelling at us over a test that a lot of us failed, except members of said clique. I have to remember when she said that being gay was wrong. I have to type up how she wanted verbatim answers when she said she didn’t want them, and then turned around and told us that she wanted us to answer the questions verbatim. I have to remember how she picked on certain students. I have to remember that when she was giving our Chapter 11 test that she hadn’t even read the chapter. I have to remember that she changed Jenny’s and my interview appointment time without telling us. I also have to remember that she said she was too busy to make it up, and then on Friday, I saw her eating candy upstairs with nothing to do. Basically, it’s going to be a long letter. I just don’t know how to put it all together.
The test that most people failed in AoI was one that I got a 36.5, despite studying a lot for it. This leads to the teacher saying that if we failed we didn’t study. Then, I turned around and made an 81 and 82 on the next two tests. I think I got a 100 on the last test we took. I’m not stupid and I am studying. The only big difference between those tests and the ones I failed were that they were basically over 1 chapter at a time, instead of 2-3.
Another school related thing–I got a roommate. She seems nice, but I was quite shocked that she came into my room mid-semester, no past mid-semester. The dorm counselors thought that I would automatically be okay with it. But how can you be okay with something you didn’t know was going to happen so soon? How can you just smile and say that’s great? I’m having to get used to her stuff and her being there. Next semester she’ll have to get used to my being there more, since I’ll be staying over Monday and Wednesday nights.
There has been some happy news. For the first time that I can remember, I bought a present for everyone who regularly spends Christmas with me. I also got gift cards to send to my cousins’ children on Daddy’s side of the family. I hope everyone likes their presents. I’m having a hard time keeping my dad from knowing what he’s getting. He hates for his presents to be spoiled, so I have to bite my lip to keep from telling him.
There is other happy news on the Christmas shopping front. With my Pell Grant refund, I bought lots of stuff for a Salvation Army Angel. Her name is Lexus and she’s 6. Instead of filling the one small bag that the Salvation Army gives to adopters, my family filled 3 of those bags plus 4 pretty large garbage bags. I hope that she’s an only child because if she got a lot of stuff and a sibling didn’t get much, it wouldn’t be fair.
I checked my weight over Thanksgiving and I’d lost another 10 pounds. That means that I’ve lost a grand total of about 30 pounds since the end of September. Only 70 more to go. The weight loss has been pretty evident. I’ve had to retire three pairs of jeans because when I’m in them, they fall off or almost fall off. One of those not only almost fell off, it caused me to trip and fall while walking to class a couple of weeks ago. That wasn’t fun. The only bad part, other than the wet and grassy leg, was that my hip hurt for a few days.
I plan on checking my e-mail after I get my finals done. It’s going to be crazy since I haven’t checked it in a month. Not checking it for a half of a week leads to like 1000 new messages on my main account. Most of them are spam, though. Since I haven’t been on so long, I probably have lost a few of my fanlistings, but I’m not really concerned with that right now. I got on and approved the pending members. That took quite a while.
I need to make a Christmas theme for this site. I wanted to make one for Autumn and Thanksgiving, but I was too busy with school and too depressed. I should probably make a general winter theme as well. I better not start making a list of what themes I need to make because then I’ll end up with like 100 themes to do and I’ll get burnt out.