Yesterday was a difficult day at school. Not because there were supposed to be two tests and, despite studying, I knew nothing. It was difficult because I was worried about Molly and Gretchen.

On our morning walk, Molly and Gretchen ate something. We don’t know what it was. It was on the edge of the yard of Jackass/Satan’s Spawn. Well, when we got back to our house, Molly and Gretchen were throwing up all over the place. My mom said that after my dad got back from taking me to school that they could take them to the vet. I told them that if I didn’t have a project due in Human Behavior, I’d go with them in a heartbeat.

While I was in class, I would think of the two of them. It made my concentration problems even worse. I didn’t have one of the tests that I thought I was going to have, and the other we did in groups. We did the test in groups because not all the people in the class had the opportunity to get the Art of Interviewing book. It was an okay test. I only knew the answer to a few of the 10 questions. I hope we don’t have to retake the test individually. That would suck.

When my dad came to get me, I asked him about Molly and Gretchen. I saw their harnesses (it was actually only Gretchen’s, but I assumed it was both) and leashes in the backseat of the car. I knew they must be at the animal hospital. My dad told me that the vet gave them something for the nausea. He also said that since we suspected that they’d been poisoned, she had given them charcoal. She was keeping them for a little while to get through their reactions to the charcoal.

At about 4:30, my dad called the vet’s office to see if they were ready to come home. They were. We went up to the clinic and headed around the counter and we saw what we thought was Molly, but as we got closer, we saw the black on her face. Dad thought at first that it was just Molly with charcoal on her, but when we saw the black on her body, we knew it wasn’t her. Her name was Autumn and she was pretty, but she’s a jealous thing. You don’t think of Bassets as being jealous, possessive, grumpy, but they can be, and Autumn was more of all three things than Molly is. She was also a lot bigger proportionally. I thought Molly was a long girl, but Autumn was 4-6 inches longer.

We brought Molly and Gretchen home, and they both slept. Molly slept through dinner, which was really surprising. She finally woke up for their evening walk. She and Gretchen are still a little lethargic today, but we think they’ll be okay.

Going over the last entry reminded me of something else that happened yesterday. Yesterday was “back in time” day. We could wear 60′s, 70′s, or 80′s themed clothing. I was going to wear patched jeans and a shirt that has bell sleeves. I decided against it because it starts about where my cleavage begins. She said she didn’t want to see our breasts because she has two of her own. Well, I get to Art of Interviewing and there’s my teacher wearing something that not only shows off right above where her cleavage begins, it showed a lot of her cleavage. It was also a tank top, so it showed even more skin. That annoyed me, as well as a girl who was sitting in that class on Wednesday wearing a spaghetti strap tank top on. There was a difference between us, she was skinny and black and I’m fat and white. I’m also the only white girl in the class that the teacher doesn’t know by name. She knows April and Jenny, but she doesn’t remember Janet. I’ve told her my name a few times, and apparently, I don’t really stick in her memory.

Oh, and the diet is going okay so far. I’m getting less mentally hungry between meals. I’ve only been physically hungry once, and it was right before I ate lunch. I haven’t weighed myself. I didn’t weigh myself before I started the diet. I’m going to try not to become obsessive with the scale because if you do that, you can go off the deep end. Of course, you can also go off the deep end when people keep giving you advice about dieting. I know you guys are trying to be helpful and keep me from killing myself, but I’ll be okay.

I think I’ve identified a suggestively rude commenter. She said in my latest question something similar to the 7th comment on this entry. She also had a very similar IP address. If her old site worked, I wouldn’t want anyone to go “swarm around like a colony of ants in front of a massive sugar cube” or anything like that. I just want her to get a life and leave me alone. I deal with enough obsessive jerks offline that I don’t need to deal with them online.

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I promise that I am not starving myself. I know that 900 calories is very low, but it isn’t starvation low, especially since I can only eat small amounts of things to begin with. I went through this same sort of eating schedule after my surgery. I got laxed, though, and started eating the wrong things and I stopped losing weight. This time it’ll be different. I’ll make it different. It will take me about a week to get this diet into my system as a habitual thing, and after that I’ll be doing it until I lose the weight. I’ll still be taking my vitamins and calcium, and getting my protein in. That’s the main thing that I am supposed to worry about post-surgery. I’ll still be going and getting my bloodwork regularly. I’ll be monitored by my parents. Nutritionists and doctors probably wouldn’t be able to tell me if it’s healthy or not because most don’t understand what patients have to do after Gastric Bypass Surgery.

I had my appointment with the psychiatrist yesterday. He increased my Wellbutrin dose and is putting me on Inderal for the tremors. He told me that my Lithium levels were low, which probably means that next time I go in, he’ll increase my dose again. I guess that’ll be fine if the Inderal works. Oh, the Inderal may help with some of my headaches, which would be great.

I am no longer allowed to wear spaghetti strap tank tops to Art of Interviewing because they are “inappropriate” for a Social Work student. My teacher will be sending anyone wearing said tank tops “home” if she sees their bare shoulders. I understand that she’s trying to prep us for Field, but for several of us, that’s a whole year and a half away. If she wasn’t sending people home for it, I’d wear the tank tops just to annoy her. I’d even do it during the winter. That’s how good of a person I am.

I can’t see my family doctor anymore. Medicaid only allows you to go to certain doctors, and he isn’t one of them. So, I picked a woman at the UAB clinic. The only thing that worries me about going through UAB is that they have their own psychiatrists and psychologist, so I’m afraid I’ll be forced to switch. Whoever the doctors at UAB refer me to goes, which may suck in the long run.

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Lately I haven’t been “socializing” online as much as I used to. I’ve been avoiding message boards and staying away from blogs of friends. I don’t know why I’m doing it. I just don’t feel up to socializing with people. I don’t feel like doing it offline either. I mean, I’ll talk to people when someone starts talking to me, but I won’t start a conversation with anyone. I’m used to being shy, but now I’ve gotten completely avoidant.

I wish each teacher I have ever had, currently have, or will ever have would realize that they are not the only teacher teaching me. They are not the only ones giving out assignments. I have 2 books to read for Diverse Populations and 1 in Speech, Human Behavior, and Art of Interviewing. I also have a speech to prepare in Speech, a weekly assignment in Human Behavior, a group project in Art of Interviewing, and a book review in Diverse Populations. I feel like I have no time to do anything else. I don’t even know how to accomplish all of the things that I have to do.

I had another test in Diverse Populations and will have another one on Monday. We’ll probably have to take it at least two times. I don’t know why he’s doing multiple tests on each chapter. Someone said that he’s doing it to make sure that we all get an A in the class, which is nice, but it’s rather annoying to have to do a test over and over. It gets tiring and it feels like we’re spending too much time taking tests. We should be learning.

I think I have a psychiatrist appointment this week. I ran out of Wellbutrin which is a pretty good indicator that it’s time to see the doctor. I’ve got to tell him about the tremors and the coldness. Maybe he’ll put me on something for the tremors or take me off the Lithium. I know it’s doing me some good, but sometimes I wonder if the doing some good is worth it with the tremors.

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Well, it happened again. Yet another encounter with Jackass/Satan’s Spawn. This time he came out at about 9:45 in his underwear (undershirt and boxer shorts) to tell us about the “crap” that our dogs had left in his yard. I said that it wasn’t us. He ignored me to yell at my father. He kept going on about it being against the law to leave “dog crap” in someone’s yard. My dad pointed to the bags that were in my hand and said, “Look at those bags. We pick up after our dogs.” He also told him to get the “crap” tested and see that it doesn’t belong to any of our dogs. The guy kept at it and kept at it. He told us to walk our dogs across the street, which we won’t do. He said we needed to control Molly, who was barking at him because he was “barking” at us. My dad finally ended the guy’s hateful rant at us by telling him that he was the only asshole in the neighborhood that gave us any problems. Then, we walked away. Now I’m paranoid that he’s going to do something. I always get paranoid whenever we encounter him.

You know what’s really ridiculous about this whole thing? He was in his underwear to tell us off. He could have changed into some decent clothing and come back out to chew us out on our way home, but no, he had to come out in his underwear. I mean, I don’t know if I should be offended by it because at night I walk Xander while wearing my pajamas. Of course, my pajamas consist of something more than a thin shirt and boxer shorts. I’m usually wearing pants and a tank top or a tee shirt. I don’t wear anything that I would be ashamed to wear in public. What he was wearing was something that only close family should be subjected to seeing.

I have to write my group observation paper in a few minutes. I went yesterday to observe the Red Cross disaster relief services center at First Baptist Church. I met a social worker from DHR who knows my teacher from when my teacher worked at DHR. She was more than willing to help me get things for my paper. She gave me information on the special food stamp program for victims and other special programs for families. She was very nice. My mom stayed at the church with me. She got thirsty and saw that they had bottles of water. Since we’re not catastrophe victims, she offered to pay for two bottles of water, but they told her to go ahead and take them.

On Thursday, my Diverse Populations teacher was supposed to put out the Chapter 2 test that we were taking on Friday. I didn’t get to go to get it, but I got a copy Friday morning. I decided not to write on it since he got so moody last time. I finished the test during my lunchtime and headed to class. Well, the teacher wasn’t there. My advisor was supposed to administer a group test. When she saw that we already had copies of the test and after we told her how confusing our teacher was about this stuff, she sat down with her bowl of cereal and told us to finish up our tests and hand them in. We still had to finish them in groups, so I basically had to give my answers to Ziffany and another girl since I was probably the only person in the whole class who finished the test before class, and I had the test the shortest amount of time. Oh, and before my advisor got up to the room, I was heading out of the class to get water and one of the guys in my class stopped me. He asked if I had finished the test and I said yes. He asked if I would give him all the answers and I said no. I hate cheating on tests. People used to cheat off of me in high school and I hated it. I was always afraid I would get punished for their dishonesty.

When I opened up Firefox yesterday, my site opened up in one window and in another some website I’d never heard of opened up. Then a program start-y type of box came up and asked me if I wanted to download some special program that would fix any damaged files on my computer. I clicked no, but decided to do a virus search last night. I didn’t have any viruses, but there were two adware programs that I had to delete.

Oh, I took the third set of defective Once and Again DVDs back to Wal-Mart. Instead of making me exchange them for another defective set, they just gave me my money back. As much as I love money, I would have liked it if they had given me credit back on my check card. Oh well, I guess I shouldn’t complain. I ended up ordering the DVDs from Amazon.com and they should be here Tuesday. Hopefully, they’ll work. If not, I’ll be convinced that it’s some hex that Jackass/Satan’s Spawn has worked against me. (Not really. )

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I’ve gotten two comments in my questions page in the past couple of days that have annoyed me. Apparently, I ask for too much and because I get a “stipend”, I shouldn’t have wishlists. I also apparently spend most of my “stipend” on books, music, and movies. This was all started over my post back in August about how I went out and bought a digital camera, scanner, and Photoshop. What the person failed to realize was that I believed that I had to spend that money right away because if I didn’t, I would have too much money in my bank account and I would lose my benefits. Everyone with Social Security had pretty much told me that if you get over a certain amount in your account, you lose your benefits. I didn’t want to lose my benefits, so I came up with a list of things I could get that would quickly (in a day) get rid of the money. I didn’t just buy those things that day, I also paid $300 for Gretchen’s vet bill and then my rent/utilities check. Rent and utilities is something I have to pay every month, as well as other things. I use my monthly money to pay for my medicines. I buy dinner for my family every once and a while. The only DVDs and CDs that I’ve bought with any of my “stipend” money are Once & Again DVDs, Clueless, Coldplay: A Rush of Blood to the Head, The Donnas: Gold Medal, and Alanis Morissette: Jagged Little Pill Acoustic. I bought those this past weekend. My mother won’t let me spend any more without her okay because I have a spending problem. I have to spend money when I know I have it. I’m a binge spender. And guess what? The same government that funded my spending spree is paying for the therapy that may keep me from spending so much money. How’s that for irony? Anyway, in short, in a regular month, after I pay actual bills, I have between $45-$165. Now, I can’t let that money accrue for very long because I might lose benefits. What am I supposed to do with “Uncle Sam’s money” when I get through paying required stuff?

You know one thing that annoys me? This person had a complaint about a specific entry and instead of commenting on that entry with his or her name and e-mail address, the person left an anonymous “question” on my Q&A page. It doesn’t seem right. If you’re going to go off on someone, then why not leave your name? The very least that would do is let me know what gender of voodoo doll I should use.

I was freezing in most of my classes yesterday except in Art of Interviewing. It was a little hard to breathe in there thanks to the humidity, but the heat felt good. Then, since everyone else was miserable, a window was opened. Gradually, I got colder and colder until I felt like I was freezing.

There’s another white girl in my speech class, and the longer I’m near her, the more I don’t like her. One day she showed up in class wearing Confederate Battle Flag stuff. Yes, she showed up at a “black school” in Confederate Battle Flag clothing/accessories. Then, yesterday, she decided that she wanted to do her informative speech on Cindy Sheehan. She was going off about how Cindy Sheehan was related to the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and how she was a horrible person for wanting the war to be over. Then she said something about how we should’ve just pulled out of Iraq as soon as we captured Baghdad. Wouldn’t that be pointless? Go in and bomb a nation, then pull out suddenly and let it sit there with pissed off people who have no protection at all from terrorists who are coming into their nation because of the power vacuum? It doesn’t make sense. The girl basically made any anti-war person or liberal out to be crazy or stupid.

I had to take the test in Diverse Populations for a third time. Luckily, since I brought my first one (that he’d given back) to class, he let me use it to get the answers. I think I could’ve done it without the old test, but it was nice to have something to rely on. The only question that I’m unsure about is about Mills, and honestly, I don’t remember anything being mentioned about him in the whole chapter. Maybe I missed it.

Yesterday afternoon after I got out of Art of Interviewing, I was expecting to be picked up at about 3:30 by my father. When he didn’t show up and hadn’t called, I got worried. Then, I decided that he must have forgotten about me and that I would be stuck up there until 6:30. I was almost in tears, which also had something to do with a speed bump I walk across being removed. At 4:00, my mother calls on my father’s phone and tells me that they’re about to get to the campus. Apparently, my dad got confused and thought I got out of that class at 3:50, since I get out of DP at 1:50. All of the being late and me getting freaked out reminded me of when I was in first grade. I was waiting for my mom to pick me up at my elementary school and she didn’t show up. I thought that she’d forgotten about me and I fell apart. I thought she would never come to get me. Then, she showed up and had had a doctor’s appointment run over. I guess some parts of me really haven’t grown up. Actually, I know a lot of me hasn’t grown up.

I have to do an assignment on group observation for Human Behavior, but the only idea for a group to observe that my teacher suggested that I was interested in was going down to First Baptist Church to watch the American Red Cross interacting with the Hurricane Katrina evacuees. I’m a little afraid to do that because it feels kind of like I’d be invading a personal situation. These people have just lost everything and here’s some college student writing all about how they’re acting in her notebook. I feel like I’d be profitting (grade) at their expense. Also, I’m afraid that they’ll turn me away since I’m not a volunteer.

You know the Once & Again DVDs that I mentioned earlier? Well, I tried to watch them this morning and guess what?! They didn’t work. My mom and I went to Wal-Mart to get a refund because we figured any other DVDs that they had would have the same problem. Well, you can’t get a refund on opened DVDs. Apparently it would violate copyright rules or something. You can only exchange for the same item. Now, how could I violate copyright rules when those DVDs apparently had nothing to be copied? I swapped the DVDs out for another set of Once & Again DVDs. I went home stuck the first DVD in the DVD player and guess what?! It didn’t work. So now I’m going to have to take them back and get another box. The Customer Service person suggested that I take these back to another store in the hopes of not getting one from the bad batch.

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I had a half of an entry typed up a little while ago, but my computer had some sort of error and had to reboot itself.

I feel like a bit of an idiot. I’ve been wearing a jacket all day. Yes, it is about 90 degrees outside, but thanks to the sweet little Lithium pills I take, I’m freezing. My arms are still a bit cold even with the jacket.

Speaking of idiots, I got a lovely little question in my Q&A page that I promptly deleted. When I went to ban the IP, my banned list was gone. Now I have to find the old htaccess file and readd the IPs. Or I could just wait for the people to act like idiots again. No, I think I’ll search for the file. I don’t want stupid people coming back.

We finally had our test in Diverse Populations. He gave it to us on Wednesday and told us that we could write our answers on it and bring it back on Friday. When we got back on Friday, he was mad because we all wrote on our tests. Then, he had us get into groups of three and take the test, but we couldn’t speak about the answers. So we split up the pages. I wish I had gotten another page because the girl who got it, bless her heart, she missed four in a row. One was so easy. It was:

Underrepresenting non-Europeans is an example of:
A. Afrocentrism B. Eurocentrism C. & D. other answers

She put Afrocentrism when it’s really Eurocentrism. I had to explain the question to her. I thought it was an easy question. That’s me, though. We ended up getting 22 out of 30, which annoyed me because if he’d graded our papers individually, I would’ve gotten a 27 or 28 out of 30. I hate group work.

Speaking of group work, my Art of Interviewing group was supposed to show up at 12:15 on Tuesday in the Social Work lab. We’d agreed on it the Wednesday before. I went to the lab and waited for everyone to show up. I waited, and waited, and waited. At 12:30, I decided they weren’t coming and I left. I was very annoyed. One of the people had a family emergency, but the others just forgot.

Another little group story involves my group in my speech class. We were supposed to meet yesterday in the library. Every other group had all of their members. One person from my group showed up, but he said he was in another group, which is BS. After about 20 minutes, Dedrick told me that I could go and he would vouch for me when I tell the teacher that no one showed up. I did have one person’s information, so I filled that in, but I don’t even know the names of the other people…except the one who claims he’s in another group. I was even more annoyed because I braved my library phobia to meet my group and no one had the courtesy to even show up.

Auburn won today, but my mom and I missed most of the game. After the loss last week and considering we both hate football, we decided it was best if we spent the majority of the game time away from home. Since Gretchen chewed up most of one of my shoes (2 straps on a 2-strap sandal), I had to get a new pair or four. We got the Wal-Mart kind this time, so they were cheaper than the Shoe Carnival ones. Since Amazon.com has been delaying the shipment of “Schindler’s List”, I decided to go to an actual bookstore to buy it. So we ran by Books-A-Million and picked it up. (Now I have to remember where I put it when we got in the house.) After that we went to Starbucks for the first time, where I got my first decaf Caramel Frappuccino. It was very good, but I haven’t had coffee in a long time so it took a little getting used to. After Starbucks, my mom and I headed to Target where we got Tylenol and some groceries. We were able to waste enough time and when we got back Auburn was up 21-0, so my dad was cheerful. Now, he’s sleeping, but it’s a peaceful sleep, not a “grrr-I’m angry-leave me alone” sleep.

God has granted one of my prayers (Auburn winning) today. Now, if Jeff Gordon finishes the day 10th in points, I will be very happy with God. Last week, God and I weren’t really on speaking terms after the game and the race. I mean, I still prayed, but I was annoyed.

Now, please note that though I did pray for these things and was annoyed, I wasn’t annoyed with God. I don’t want anyone coming at me with “God has more important things to do than grant prayers about sports” or “You’re being completely stupid if you think ‘God’ will help” or anything similar. Sometimes it’s hard to get my sense of humor out on the internet.

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