I’m Going, I’m Going 6


Well, after several weeks of getting nothing from the Disability office, I’ve gotten quite a bit lately. I got my mental function form. Then, I got a letter telling me to call my disability specialist. She told me about my appointment times and had me confirm that I would be going to the appointments. Yesterday, I got 2 letters (one a piece) for me to confirm that I’d be going to the appointments. I had to sign them and promise to go. I sent them back this morning. A few minutes ago, I went out to the mailbox and I found 3 new letters from Disability. Two were the appointment dates, and the third was a letter telling me to call again and confirm my appointments. I wonder how many times I’ll have to confirm the appointments before they’ll figure out that I will be going. On June 7th, I’m all set to go to both appointments. Admittedly, I may be taking a double dose of Klonopin before I go, so I won’t have huge anxiety attacks about going out.

Speaking of psych meds, my Geodon, which had been knocking me out within minutes of my taking it, is now taking a bit longer to knock me out. That’s not a good thing. Before long, it may quit working at all, and I’ll be back to relying on my body to regulate my sleep patterns…that means very little sleep for Janet. You know, it seems like no matter how you try to combat problems with the brain, your brain always figures a way to outsmart the meds/treatment and you end up needing higher doses or something different to treat the problem. This is my third anti-psychotic, and I’ve seen how many meds my mom has gone through over the years because they’ve quit working. I think the brain is smarter than anyone gives it credit for. I know it’s still a big mystery, but I’d say brains are very stubborn. They do what they want, when they want, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else has planned for them.

I had bloodwork yesterday. I bet I’ll have to have more done next Tuesday. Any doctor who wants to give a thorough physical exam should probably order bloodwork, shouldn’t they? Of course, the medical tests aren’t the things that frighten me. It’s the psychological ones that really bug me. I know, I’ve been to multiple mental health care workers in my life, but this one just frightens me. This one could have a huge impact on my life, and that scares me. I know, they should all have a huge impact on my life, but this one is a much bigger impact.


About Janet Morris

I’m from Huntsville, Alabama. I’ve got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She’s a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.


6 thoughts on “I’m Going, I’m Going

  • Marie

    I think it’s that your body becomes immune to the drugs. I have noticed the same thing when it comes to my meds.

  • Natasha

    yeah, darn that immunity. i always stop taking my meds for a few days, and then take it again, then the effect comes back. hehe, its kind of like im in a battle against my brain. me and my meds trying to outsmart..well, me.

    yeah, im kinda weird…. i know. but, good luck to you sweetie. and dont be nervous (i know, easier said than done right ) everything will be ok

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