Let’s hope that I passed my Social Work exam today. I couldn’t study for it. I kept trying, but everytime I would read the words, they’d leave my brain the second I’d get to the next word. I tried to review the summaries of each chapter, just so I could get a gist of the stuff, and I couldn’t even concentrate to get that done. The only chapter that I could actually study was the one on mental health, which didn’t have any questions on the test. I know I got at least 35 points, though, because I KNEW the extra credit answer. I’d basically rehearsed that one, so I know I got it right. If my calculations are right, I only needed a 40-something to get an A, so I figure I probably got that many points. My mom would be happy if I just got a B because she knows how hard the whole studying thing was for me.
As I was reading the mental health chapter, I was kind of stunned when it mentioned that this one person who was placed in the hospital had hallucinations and talked to herself. Well, I have the hallucinations and I talk to myself, but I don’t consider the latter to be a problem. I like talking to myself. I like having entire conversations with no one but my imagination. I argue. I have otherwise normal talks. I like narrating my life. It’s just a part of me, and I don’t want to lose that part of me because I don’t see it as something that is detrimental to my well-being. It may be bad for my social life, but let’s face it, I don’t really have one of those anyway. So, I want to know, does anyone else talk to themself? Or is this just a me thing?
I had to get my Geodon prescription filled today. (Extremely expensive stuff.) So, starting tomorrow night, I will officially be taking 120mg. That should get me to sleep. Lately, taking 80 hasn’t been getting me to sleep very well. I stay asleep, but I don’t really get to sleep easily. I just lay in bed and think, and the thinking sometimes goes crazy. Sometimes, it doesn’t. It does lead to me thinking about sad things, like Stephanie and other things that upset me, which leads to me crying.
I haven’t heard anything back from the annoying girl, which I am so happy about. I don’t need to read anything else from her. I don’t need that kind of negativity from anyone, but especially from someone who is obviously uninformed about mental illness. Now, I just get to wait for the next rude comment about mental illness. I know it is coming, which is why I wrote this. It’s basically my responses to all the nagging things that people say. I’ve probably forgotten some things, but I can always edit the page and add more to it. I have more ideas for my Opinionated Girl section. I like ranting and speaking out about stuff. I should probably sit down and write out what I want to talk about first, though. Of course, a lot of my best opinionated stuff comes “in the moment”.