I went to the “crazy doc” today. I think he’s psychic (not really) because he asked about my racing thoughts, and I don’t think I’d ever said anything to anyone at Mental Health about racing thoughts. I know its a common symptom of being bipolar, but still, not every patient has it, so how did he know I had it? He decreased my Effexor again and increased my Lamictal to 200 mg once I finish the starter pack. He also increased my Geodon to 120 mg. My mom said that he’s probably about to take me off of Effexor, which scares the crap out of me. I’ve been on it for almost 4 years and, with the exception of the few months I was off of it in 2003 (in preparation for surgery), I’ve never done well when I chose not to take it. I’ve always gotten more psychotic and depressed when I went off of it. I don’t see how taking me off of it will be a good thing for me. I wonder if he’s planning on putting me on another antidepressant. It better not be Paxil or Celexa or MAOIs. Okay, I’ve never been on a MAOI, but I refuse to go on a drug that will not allow me to have cheese and has a limit on chocolate. As for the Paxil and Celexa, they’ve been tried in the past and don’t work with me, so there would be no point in putting me on them. Besides, I wouldn’t take them if he did prescribe them for me, and I would tell him that.
I need to read something in my World Literature book so that I can write a paper this weekend. I’ll probably have to read as I write because otherwise, the paper will be crappy because I won’t know what I’m saying.
My ear still hurts, which I guess is normal for an ear that “doesn’t look normal”. I wish my doctor would be more specific about what my ear looks like. Saying that it doesn’t look normal doesn’t give me any answers. He did say it looks red and swollen inside, but that’s it. He marked on the superbill thing that I had an middle and outer ear infection, but he never said that to me. Maybe he doesn’t know what’s wrong. I mean, that’s a bit obvious with him wanting me to go to see the ENT.
I added a page under “About Me” for my mental health issues. It lists when I was diagnosed with what and what drugs I’ve been on. It also lists information on each diagnosis, though I couldn’t really explain the bipolar and obsessive compulsive tendencies, since those aren’t really talked about on sites about mental health.