Well, its official. Actually, it was official at 9:12 this morning, though most people would claim its official at 12 am in the morning. I’m now 21. I am now old enough to drink. When my mom picked me up, she joked that I would have to go get drunk. I smiled and reminded her that I still have no intention of ever drinking. I’m not going to go down that path. If I can get addicted to taking Tylenol, then I am not tempting the fates (and my family history) by drinking. I also don’t want to have any side effects with the medicines I take.
I started crying last night again. Somehow, once it hits about 10:00 (when I’m at school), I just can’t keep myself together anymore and I start crying. I mean, I felt a bit crappy all day, but I felt myself just crumble as it got later and later last night. My roommate went to sleep at about 10:15, so I took my cell phone and went into the common room in the suite and sat down and called my mom. She answered, but I had woken her up. She thought it was today and that she had overslept. I didn’t tell her how bad I felt and I only talked for a few minutes, but I needed that few minutes. I needed to hear something comforting. I didn’t feel “better” when I hung up, but my mood had improved some. I watched a little of “The Tonight Show” and then headed to bed.
I thought about eating breakfast this morning in the cafeteria since I didn’t have Biology. I decided against it, though, because I was too afraid to mess up my routine any more than it was already going to be messed up. I would have liked to have sausage and hash browns, though the sausage there isn’t that great. (It’s rubbery.) So, I got up at 6:15, got dressed, put on my makeup, took my medicines, ate my strawberry yogurt, set my alarm for 8:45, and went back to sleep. I got almost 2 hours more sleep, which was good, but then I had to go climb The Hill for class.
Classes went by pretty quickly today. Of course, in World Lit, we’re watching Gulliver’s Travels, so we didn’t really have to do anything. My teacher gave us a sheet explaining how to do our Literary Critiques. Our first draft is due on Tuesday. I haven’t even picked a topic yet. Reading stuff can be difficult for me to do (because of concentration issues).
I got home and found some cool stuff awaiting me that had come in the mail yesterday. There was a card from my Nana with a $40 check. There was also a box of lots of Buffy stuff from Kimberly. I still need to go through the box, but I want to give her a HUGE thank you and remind everyone to go to her site because she’s just a really awesome person. I also got something else in the mail that was pretty cool. I’ve been nominated/chosen for the National Dean’s List. Apparently, somehow I’ve merited it by going to school and getting a 3.8 last semester. Very cool. It puts me in the running for more scholarships, which is a very good thing.
The mail ran a little while ago, and I got more good stuff in the mail. I got a $50 check from one aunt and a $25 check from the other. Now, I have to decide what to do with the money. There are lots of things I’d like to have, but I don’t know if I want to buy them right now. I’m fairly certain that I’m going to get Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but I don’t know what I’ll do with the rest of the money. I need to decide what I want to do before I go out and spend it all on stuff I don’t need or even want, which I have been known to do in the past.
I don’t really have any plans for today. I went by the courthouse and my parents had the house transferred into my name, so that was really my big thing for the day. My grandmother mentioned something about my mom telling her that she was getting me a cake or making me one, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen or not. My mom isn’t home right now, so I can’t exactly ask her. Cake would be nice, though I’d probably get sick.
Oh, you know how my dad finally got a full-time job a few weeks ago? Well, now, my mom is working as a substitute Extended Day teacher for the city schools. So, hopefully, that will help with the financial situation around here.
Marie, I’ve had some moments of being happy, but its been short-lived. The last time I remember feeling truly happy was when I was a child.
Jen, I wish I knew why the Mental Health Center wouldn’t let me transfer over to Comprehensive Care on my own or at least at the insistance of Jane. It doesn’t make sense that it can only be done by going through Beth. There should be some other way, but with the screwed up system, there doesn’t seem to be another way. The difference between Comprehensive Care and Counseling Services is that Comprehensive Care tends to involve more frequent appointments and tries to help a person deal with a major mental illness, where Counseling Services has less frequent appointments (and only 1 psychiatrist for adults compared to the 3+ psychiatrists that CC has) and basically just does medical services and therapy for less intense mental illnesses. Beth is concerned, but I don’t think she knows me well enough or my family history well enough to know to be as concerned as Jane is/was.
Oh, I did watch Quills yesterday in the dorm. Luckily, the manager didn’t come by for room checks. It was a good film. It wasn’t exactly a “fun” movie, but it was well-done and I really liked it. Very nicely done, but not something I would want to watch with one of my parents.
Wow, 24 comments since the last entry. I can’t believe how many comments I’ve been getting lately. Thank you all.
Oh, and Danielle, thank you for the birthday gift. It’s very cute and I really like it.