Where Are All the Liberals? 22

I’ve discovered a new little addiction online–BlogExplosion.com. The only problem that I’ve found is that almost every other blog is in the politics category and belongs to someone extremely conservative. Now, don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being conservative. I have friends who are conservative, but I tend to befriend the conservatives who aren’t constantly bashing liberals. The people I’ve found on BE aren’t that type of conservative. They’re the ones who make liberals out to be monsters who have no morals. I can only block 50 people’s blogs, and I’m trying to limit blocking to the blogs that are truly offensive to me. This is a difficult task. I wish there were more liberals or, at least, nice conservatives on BE. That way, it’d be more enjoyable for me to surf through the blogs.

Oh well, tomorrow I get to stay on campus overnight. I’m really not looking forward to that. I guess I can take some movies up there with me so that I won’t stay there and bang my wrists all the time I’m in my room. Hmm…Jawbreaker and Quills might be good ones to take. One is about accidentally killing a best friend by choking her with a jawbreaker and the other is about the Marquis de Sade. They should be joyful romps. Actually, I know what Jawbreaker is like because I’ve seen it several times. I’ve never seen Quills before, and I’m a little afraid to watch it because of the subject matter. I still want to see it, though, because it stars Kate Winslet.

So, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I guess that’s a good thing for those people who have someone special in their life to celebrate with. My big event for V-Day? Getting my blood drawn to see if I’m anemic and if I’m getting in the proper amounts of vitamins and minerals. It’s one of those lovely things I get to do every three-four months since having Gastric Bypass Surgery. I won’t be shocked if my B12 levels are down, since I haven’t been remembering to take my B12 every week.

Aurora had a good point about the last entry. Even if I were doing all of this for attention (which I’m not), I could still have a problem. Histrionic Personality Disorder is a serious problem. Luckily, I’ve never been diagnosed with that. If I had been, it would probably be just as hard to get the psychiatrist to listen because then he’d really think I was just wanting attention. Of course, in that case, he’d be right.

She also had a good point that a lot of people don’t like hearing about mental illness. It makes a lot of people uncomfortable and most expect the people who have the illness to feel shame. I’ve never really been ashamed of having problems. That may be because I’ve been raised around people who weren’t ashamed of having problems. It’s just a fact of life in my family that you have problems. I was taught to talk about them openly and to not really think of them as anything unusual. People don’t look down on someone for having a brain tumor, even though it affects how you think/feel. They don’t look down on the person because they see it as a physical problem that the person doesn’t have control over. Mental illness is not seen as a physical problem (even though it can be caused by neurotransmitters being messed up, as well as other “physical” problems) and is seen as something that a person can control. Therapy and meds are supposed to fix it all, and that’s not completely true. It takes a lot more than just therapy and meds to “fix” the problem. It takes acceptance that you may not be able to actually “fix” the problem. You have to accept that you may just be putting a band-aid on the situation by taking meds and learning how to cope. The problems don’t always go away.

Oh, when I say that I want my meds changed up or adjusted, I still want to take Effexor and Risperdal. I just want the doses changed. I also want to try something different for the hallucinations, paranoia, etc. I want to leave the Risperdal as my sleepy-time medicine. Of course, I doubt that if I ever convinced my current psychiatrist to work with my medicines, he’d want to put me on Paxil or Celexa, which don’t work for me, and probably put me on Zyprexa, which wears me out and makes me gain weight. I need a psychiatrist who is willing to try to go for the medicines that work with the other members of my family. Chances are if its worked for my mom or grandmother or other members of my family, it will work for me.

Oh, the missionaries didn’t come by the other day. My mom decided to call and tell them that it wasn’t a good day to come. I don’t know when they’ll drop by, but I think they’re supposed to call first. Whenever they do decide to come by, I guess I’ll just have to be assertive about the whole “I’m not joining the Church” thing.

Ugh. I really need to stay away from things with sugar in them. I keep making myself sick everytime I eat something with sugar in it. 🙁 One of the consequences of having the surgery. Of course, I wouldn’t take back having the surgery done. I just need to remember that sugary stuff makes me feel icky.

Plugs: Aneesah, Aurora, Chelsea, Doreen, Heather, Jen, Jessica, Laura, Lea, Lola, Mindy, Shasta

About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.

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