It’s a good thing that school is almost over for this semester because my brain has quit functioning. I now wonder how I made it through so many years without Adderall. How could I do so well in school without it? Without it, I’m basically a shell in the classroom. My body is there, but my mind is not. I sit and listen, but even with some knowledge of the subject matter and a really good grasp of the English language, I have absolutely no clue what is being said or what is going on. I lose track of time. Before I realize it, the class is over and the only way that I know I even attended the class is that I recognize that I’m sitting in a chair in the classroom. I don’t remember most of what was said. I don’t really even remember how I got there or anything. It’s like someone performed some sort of Tabula Rasa spell on my brain.
Oh, and I’m still crazy without the Adderall. I’m paranoid and I still hear some stuff. The voices actually seem to argue more now, which keeps me a bit more agitated. I’m even wondering weird things, like how a door opens even if I see the person who opened it. My next psych. related appointment is with the therapist next Wednesday. I can tell her everything and freak her out again.
At least I don’t have Social Welfare and Fitness For Life tomorrow…that should decrease the amount my brain has to “work”. Tomorrow is my last day of “class”. I still have 4 finals to take. (Social Welfare and Fitness For Life don’t have finals.) I’m definitely taking the Adderall on the days I have finals. Otherwise, I’m completely screwed. I need to be able to concentrate in order to pass the tests…and I have to pass those tests.