The Pain and Confusion I Feel 4


So, today is 9/11. Three years after the terror attacks. It feels like a normal day to me. I’ve had class and I’ve gotten on the computer. I’ve basically done everything that I would normally do. Is that wrong? Should I not be doing these things? Should I be crying like I did 3 years ago? Or should I finally be able to start moving on? I didn’t lose anyone that day, except the more innocent version of myself. Some people keep talking about the tragedy like it was yesterday, but I’ve tried to move past that type of feeling. If I live like it was yesterday, then that’s only going to make my anxiety about living worse. *sigh* It’s all very confusing.

I’ve been thinking about making layouts for people and charging for them. I need money, but I don’t know if charging for layouts would work. I don’t know that anyone would actually want to buy any layout that I made. I mean, I don’t make these stellar ones like you see at some sites. And I don’t know if I could make layouts for anyone else. My layouts usually mean something to me. I don’t know if I could get any creative juices flowing if I knew I was making a layout for someone else.

I’m still having pain in my stomach and chest. My mom asked me if I needed to go to the Doctor’s office, and I told her that I didn’t know. The truth is that I think I do, but since we don’t have health insurance anymore, I don’t want to cost my parents any money that they don’t have to spend. So, I’ll just suffer from the pains, and try to smile through it. I try to be a good little girl (well, a good 20-year old) and not cause any problems. Heh, it’ll probably be my luck that I’ll have something serious wrong with me and ignoring it will only cause me more problems in the future.

Plugs: Jenny, Melissa, Sarah


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.


4 thoughts on “The Pain and Confusion I Feel

Comments are closed.