I was doing my Provance commenting and one of the sites I went to basically had a conspiracy theory about the whole Iraqi Prisoner Abuse scandal. This person thought the pictures were taken to keep Bush from getting re-elected. Yeah, right. I’m sure the first thought going through the soldiers’ minds was to keep Bush out of office. I highly doubt that that was the reason they committed war crimes. Honestly, I’m not really interested in why they did what they did. I don’t think anyone will ever know. We’re probably only going to hear pathetic excuses anyway. For example: I was ordered to do it. Okay, I don’t know that they were or were not ordered to commit those acts. What I do know is that they should’ve realized that there was something wrong with the orders. If they had any feelings that the orders were wrong, then they shouldn’t have followed through with the orders; instead, they should’ve reported what they were ordered to do to a person in the chain of command.
Anyways…the back to that person’s comments. He/she seems completely convinced that this is a conspiracy going on perpetrated by the Democrats. Apparently, we’ll do “anything” to get Bush out of office. That sounds a little crazy to me. Personally, I would love to get Bush out of office, but I would never conspire to harm human beings in order to get him out of office. I am disgusted by the idea that all of us Democrats are so anti-Bush that we would harm anyone in order to get him out of office. Normally, I get a little annoyed by conspiracy theories. This time, though, I’m thoroughly annoyed…to put it nicely.
Yesterday, my mom went to my Nana’s. I didn’t go. I had an anxiety attack and couldn’t go. I get so anxious and afraid lately. I’m worried that something will happen if I leave the house. I worry about Xander and Molly when I’m not home. I worry about my parents if they’re out on the road. I worry about getting the car. (I have a fear of cars, driving, and riding.) I just worry myself ragged. Yesterday I had to take a half a Risperdal to calm down enough to not be really panicky about my mom while she was gone to Nana’s house. Then, when she was on her way home, I was on the computer to keep myself distracted. I should probably tell my psychiatrist about all this anxiety, but I’m worried that he’ll put me on more medicine. Yes, the girl who willingly takes her psych meds does not like to take medicine. I especially don’t like to take anti-anxiety medicines because they make me so tired and depress me so much…especially Xanax. I mean, I like feeling calm and all, but I don’t want to be sleeping all of the time.
Of course, sleeping all of the time seems to be what I’m doing lately anyway. If I get comfortable on the couch, or even if I just lay down and am uncomfortable, I fall asleep. I can sleep from anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. If things were quieter around here, I might sleep all day. Maybe its from my anxiety. Or maybe its something else. It could be my depression. Whenever one of my psychiatric problems gets worse, other psych problems seem to get worse.
I guess I should’ve known with all of the separation anxiety I was having (over going to UTC) that there was something more serious going on. I guess I was just in denial. Maybe I just wanted things to be better than they really were. Who knows? I just hope that this increase in psych issues doesn’t mean that I’ll have to go back to the hospital. I never want to go back to that place ever again.
Go to Celestial, please.