Last night I was up until really late thanks to severe weather that was coming into this area. There was a tornado warning for just about every county in this area, including Madison County (where I live). Luckily, the storm with the “tornado” in it was on the other end of the county from me. Of course, it still scared me half to death. I couldn’t sleep until I knew it was safe. Storms really scare me. I know a lot of people are calmed by thunderstorms, but not me.

My throat still hurts some. :sick: I would drink some ice water if I thought it would make it better, but swallowing only seems to make things worse. I don’t really want to chance feeling anymore pain.

Speaking of pain, I hurt my knee this afternoon. Actually, I didn’t hurt it. My mom and I had Xander and Molly outside, and they were getting rambunctious. Well, they started running and both of them slammed into my knee and popped it backward a bit. It didn’t like break and pop backward like what happens with athletes. It just kind of bent back in a hyperextended sort of way. So, it still aches. It hurts if I put it in the wrong position. Just my luck, huh?

Molly is barking very loudly right now at the guinea pigs. :puppy: When she’s not barking, she’s running around being “Destructo Girl”, which is an improvement from her days as “Cujo”. She’s a rather loud and hyper Basset Hound. I mean, when you think of a Basset, you think of a quiet and relaxed dog. Not Molly. She’s rambunctious. I still love her, but she’s just not what I expected.

I’m really looking forward to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. :movies: I feel kind of like a little kid because I’m so excited about it. Of course, it’ll be the first movie I’ve been to since my birthday in 2002 when I saw Crossroads, which of course, I’ve probably shared before…several times. My mom asked me today if I wanted to go on Friday, and I told her that I did. I’m a little worried about going on Friday, though. My mom and I both have a bit of a problem with crowds, so it might not be such a good idea for the two of us to be there on Friday. Still, I really want to see the movie as soon as I can.

Right now my external hard drive is not functioning properly. :computer: I hope its not really screwed up. I don’t want to lose all the files I have on it. That would not be good. Opera and Mozilla are both on that hard drive, so right now I’m having to use IE. I’m not really upset that I have to use IE, but I prefer to do some things on Mozilla and Opera because of the whole tabbed browsing thing. Blah. I can deal without those two programs though.

Tomorrow’s the Primary Election. (I know, Alabama is one of the last states to do a Primary.) I’m tempted to vote in the Republican Primary, even though I’m a Democrat. Why? Well, I want to make sure that Tom Parker doesn’t get the nomination for Supreme Court Justice. He’s got no experience as a judge. His big “achievement” is that he is being supported by Roy Moore, the former Supreme Court Chief Justice who refused to follow a judicial order to remove the Ten Commandments. (That means he broke the law willingly.) Parker’s ads remark how he will basically be just like Moore. I don’t want another SCJ who refuses to follow the law and causes the state to have to pay the fines that occurred because he was too ignorant to follow the law.

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Ugh. My throat hurts. It’s been aching for a few hours now. I hope I’m not getting something. That would really suck. It’s probably just allergies or something. Nothing to get really upset about.

I’ve spent the past couple of hours updating my Quote Book. I also changed my random quote script so that it displays quotes from the Quote Book. There should be a better variety of random quotes now. I also made a special layout just for the Quote Book. It features Jennifer Garner from Alias. If you have a favorite quote that I haven’t listed, then you can always add your favorites. I have more I’m planning on adding, but it can be quite exhausting (for my hands) to sit and type up a bunch of quotes.

Oh, I’ve been accepted at Alabama A&M. That’s good, since I’d already decided I was going to go there instead of UTC. I just have to send in some immunization stuff so that I won’t have to have all of my shots re-done.

It’s been 10 months since I had my gastric bypass surgery. I’ve lost over 90 pounds so far. I still have a lot to lose. I wish I could lose it more quickly than a pound a week, which is what my weight loss rate has slowed to. I miss how right after the surgery, I lost like 21 pounds in two weeks.

I’m sorry that this is such a boring little blog entry, but I don’t really have anything spectacularly interesting to say.

Plugs: Esther, Jen, Katie, Tara

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Remember Crazy Psycho Woman? Well, she doesn’t compare to the newest of the Crazy Psycho Neighbors. Last night, my dad was walking Xander and Molly at about 9, like he usually does. Well, this time a guy who lives on the same street as Crazy Psycho Woman was there to harass him. And when I say harass, I mean harass. This guy decided not only to warn my dad not to let the dogs poop in his yard, he decided to threaten both my dad and the dogs. He said he would shoot Xander and/or Molly if they tried to poop in his yard. (They were on the sidewalk, btw.) Then, he chased my dad down the sidewalk, until my dad was no longer near the guy’s house. My dad said the guy was drinking, so that kind of explains his behavior. Still, its very scary. My dad called the police to let them know what happened (in case the guy actually did decide to shoot an animal or a person), but he didn’t file a report, so they won’t be keeping a record of what happened. Anyways…I don’t ever want to go on that street again because of this. I don’t even want to ride past that house. It was one thing to have Crazy Psycho Woman practically stalking us as we walked past her house. It’s a completely different story to have someone threaten to shoot or kill you or your family (pets included). Gee…and people question my sanity. At least I’m not a danger to myself or others.

So, next Tuesday is the Primary Election. Alabama is one of the last states in the U.S. to have a primary, so we don’t really get a say in the whole Presidential thing until the regular Voting Day. Anyways…thanks to the Primary that’s coming up, there have been a lot of ads for “Conservatives” and “Republicans”. Some of the ads just tout the religiousness of the person running or the “Conservative values” that the person has. Others, though, bash liberals and make it sound like being the slightest bit liberal is like having a contagious disease. It’s ridiculous. Being a liberal in Alabama is quite difficult. It’s one of those things you don’t go around announcing to people because you might get lynched. Okay, maybe not lynched, but being liberal in this state does cause some tension.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I receive certain questions on the Q&A page. Typically, if they annoy me too much, I’ll just delete the question and ignore it. This time, though, I decided against deleting it. Not only did I not deleted it, I answered it on the Q&A page and I’m posting the answer here as well. So, here’s the question:

Do you think maybe the person who left the anonymous comment is annoyed not that you discuss your problems or that, indeed, you do have them… but that you seem to whine about them? A lot?

My answer:

I think whoever left the anonymous comment was just being a jerk to be a jerk. As for me “whining about my problems a lot”…I don’t. Yes, I talk about them, but I’m not whining about them when I talk about them. Also, I don’t talk about them a lot. There are only 12 entries TOTAL in my Depression, Self-Injury, and other Psych stuff category. That’s out of the almost 70 total entries that have been posted. That’s not a lot. And even if it constituted more than that amount, that still shouldn’t matter. I get to talk about my problems as this is my site.

Honestly, I don’t whine about my psych problems. I do rant sometimes, but ranting is very different from whining. I also share, but again…sharing is not whining. I would KNOW if I were whining. Maybe the person who submitted the question didn’t mean anything by it, but I get annoyed when people accuse me of things. Besides, like I said in my answer, this is my site and I get to talk about my problems here. If people don’t like my talking about my problems, then they should leave.

Plugs: Ang, Claire, Julie, Lina

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I had to go see my psychiatrist yesterday. We talked about my avoidance issues. He thinks they were triggered by the whole UTC thing. I think they’ve just been building for a long time. He’s upped my dose of Effexor XR to 225mg a day. That was the dose I was on pre-Gastric Bypass Surgery. He thinks that will probably help. He tried to assure me that to a certain degree my anxiety was perfectly normal for someone my age. He seems to think it’ll pass more quickly than my psychologist does. Of course, my psychologist has been listening to my avoidance issues a lot longer…mainly because I talk about it with him more than I do with my psychiatrist.

So, speaking of my “insanity”, I found this lovely note last night in response to the previous entry:

looks to me that “someone” meaning YOU has way too many problems. just do society a favor and check yourself back into a mental hospital. you don’t deserve to live freely as everyday normal people do, you are too much of a mental problem and people like you should be handled carefully

I just love how the jerk who left it didn’t leave their name or e-mail address. You’d think if a person felt the need to leave such a note, they’d have the guts to leave their name and e-mail address. Of course, I guess they might have thought I’m “too much of a mental problem” and that I might come after them or something because I’m such a raving psychotic. You know, the comments didn’t really bug me. I’m used to encountering stupidity when it comes to psychological problems. What bugged me was that the person didn’t leave any way to contact them. I wouldn’t have told the person off, but I would’ve at least known who thought I was so crazy that I needed to be locked up.

You know, I love how people seem to be so in the dark when it comes to their own psychological state. The person who left that comment surely has at least one psychological problem/issue (including fears/phobias or obsessions) to his/her name. Everyone does. It’s just not everyone admits it/gets it checked out by professionals. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. If more people would be open and honest about their problems, instead of mocking those of us who are open and honest about our problems, then perhaps the world might be a slightly better place.

Guess what arrived yesterday?! My Buffy Season 6 and Friends Season 7 DVDs came. Yay! I’ve gotten to watch “Once More With Feeling”, “Villains”, “Two to Go”, and “Grave” on the Buffy DVD and “TOW All the Cheesecakes” on the Friends DVD. I would’ve watched a couple more Friends episodes, but my Dad claims to not like Friends. I think he secretly likes the show because he’s watched the episodes and laughed at them…I think he just doesn’t want to admit to liking the show.

Plugs: Alx, Amy, Anna, Appy (prov), Barbara, ChibiChaos, Christie, Jasmin, Kat B, Katie, Kristina, Nile, Manda, Sarah, Tess

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Molly came home from the vet this morning. Her lumps have been sent off to pathology, but the vet who performed the surgery said they looked more like cysts than cancer. I hope that he’s right, and that they were just cysts.

I’m upset with ABC again. I just found out the other night that Alias won’t be back until January of next year. They want to run it “re-run free”. Honestly, I don’t care if they run with re-runs or not. I want Alias back sooner than January, and I’m really annoyed that they are doing this. ABC really doesn’t care about the well-being of my favorite show.

My order from Amazon.com shipped yesterday, so hopefully it will be here soon. It says on the site that it will be here between the 3rd and 5th of June. I would love it so much if it got here sooner. I missed “Once More With Feeling” the other day on FX and I really want to see it. I love that episode. I also want to watch several Friends episodes, including TOW All the Cheesecakes. *sigh* I can begin my completely avoidant summer once those DVDs come.

Speaking of avoidant, my psychologist thinks that I may be Avoidant. I told him about my recent results (below) on a Personality Disorder Quiz. I know the quizzes aren’t very accurate, but I still thought I’d share the results with him. He doesn’t think I’m Borderline because I don’t have emotional outbursts around him. I told him that I do have the emotional issues of a Borderline…I’ve just tried to learn to behave so I won’t have to go back to the hospital again. He does think I’m Avoidant, though, because I like to stay away from people. I like to stay at home and not go out for days at a time.

Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

So according to that quiz, what is Avoidant?

Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

Yeah, that sounds a lot like me. Of course, several of the personality disorders seem like me. And, despite what my psychologist thinks, I think I was diagnosed properly as a Borderline. I don’t always tell him about all of my issues. I don’t tell him how quickly I get angry or have mood swings. I don’t tell him that I still have the desire to hurt myself. I don’t tell him several things because I don’t want to say anything that would lead to me being locked up again.

Oh, one of the results on that test really bothered me. The Antisocial high result freaked me out. I am NOT Antisocial. I am so not a sociopath. I don’t enjoy breaking the law or trying to hurt people, so I’m not Antisocial.

I made some new buttons featuring pictures from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Angel, and Alias. I also added some buttons that I made a while ago that feature Jewel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Please feel free to use one of them to link back here with. Plenty of sizes to choose from.

Oh, and I answered some questions on my Q&A page. I really enjoy doing that. So, if you have any questions you want to ask, please feel free to do so.

I’ve also added a new skin. It features screen captures from the Alias season 3 finale. I’ll probably be making it the default skin in a week or so after Harry Potter has premiered.

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Well, I got to have an interesting experience today. I got to baby-sit for my friend Tiffany’s little girl, Melody, for about 3 hours this morning. Melody is 19 months old and she’s a bit of a handful. She has so much more energy than me, and I was running after her wherever she went. I probably could’ve left her alone for a little while, but I was so worried that something would happen that I tried not to let her get out of my sight for more than a split second. She still managed to get away from me for a little while at a time, but I was able to catch up with her. Luckily Tiff’s house isn’t very big, and Michelle, Tiffany’s mom, had closed some of the doors, so Melody was kind of limited on going to the Living Room/Kitchen/Dining Room area and her own bedroom. The only major problem we seemed to have was about halfway through, I was holding Melody and she saw a picture of her Mommy and Daddy. She started pointing and saying, “Daddy! Daddy!” Then, when she realized he wasn’t coming to her, she started crying and screaming, “I want Daddy! I want my Daddy!” For about fifteen or twenty minutes, I tried to console her, rock her, sing to her, etc. Nothing was working. Finally, Michelle, who was working in another part of the house, came into the living room and said that I should get Melody her “blankie”. So, I did. Miraculously, Melody stopped screaming and crying. So from that moment on, I made sure to keep “blankie” within reach in case she got upset again.

I rarely baby-sit. I’ve only done it about 3 times in my life. This was the second time I’ve watched Melody. The last time was about a year ago. She’s changed quite a bit in a year. Back then, the big thing I had to worry about was getting out of her sight. Back then, if I moved away from her at all, she screamed and cried for me to come back.

So, tonight is the Series Finale of Angel. Or as the commercials say, “The WB Series Finale”. Is it me or does that seem a bit odd? I mean, they have it in pretty big writing that its “The WB Series Finale”. I know that there’s probably not a chance that it will be picked up by another network, but having The WB call it “The WB Series Finale” seems like an indication that perhaps there is another network out there that is interested in picking up the show. Anyways…I’m looking forward to the finale, though I don’t want the show to end. I think its crazy that its ending after its best season ever. It’s just absolutely ridiculous that the show would end this year. The WB made a major mistake.

I’m in the process of handing over several of my fanlistings to new owners. It’s a lot easier this time than it was the last time I did this. Mainly because I’m requesting that the new owners make new layouts. I know its always much easier if the previous owner just hands you the old layout, but if I do that, then I have to create special zip files for everyone with the layout image files and the layout coding. Then, I have to hope that they get the zip file. Then, I have to hope that they remember to credit me for the layout. It’s all very tiresome. So, its much easier when I don’t have to worry about sending the layout.

Plugs: Ash, Aurora, Caitylin, Celestial, Emily, Helga, Iris, Jenn, Krissy, Lauren, Sarah, Sharee, Tess

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