I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in a while. I kept meaning to, but it always seemed to slip my mind.

My parents left to go pick up Molly at about 8 this morning. I guess they’ll be back around 5 or 6 tonight. I’m staying here with Xander so that he won’t get lonely, and so that someone will be here to walk him at 3. I’m also staying here because I didn’t really want to go with them. I could blame my not wanting to go on anxiety, but to tell you the truth, I’m just as nervous about them being out on the road without me as I would be if I were on the road with them.

So, today has been a very odd day. First, at about 9:30 this morning, a person from Huntsville Animal Services came by and said there had been complaints about how my parents cleaned out the guinea pig cages. Then, at about 11, someone from the Madison County Health Department came by about the same complaints. He asked how many guinea pigs we had. I told him 5. He seemed shocked. Apparently, whoever made the complaint must have said we had more than just 5. He also asked how many dogs we have. I told him 2, since technically, after this afternoon, we will have 2. He told me that my parents need to set up a time for him to come by so he can talk to them about the complaints. I dread telling my parents that. I also hate that these people have come by today. They kind of freak me out.

I got back 2 of my essays from Philosophy. On my suffering essay, which I’d had to rewrite, I got an A. On my essay on brains in a vat, I got an A+. I was quite proud of myself for the A+, especially since my teacher RARELY gives A+ to anyone. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago that she gave the first A+. Oh, I had a Cultural Anthropology test yesterday. I waited around after I took it to see what grade I got. I got a 45 out of 50 on the regular questions and I got 5 bonus points, so that means I got a 50 out of 50. Yay.

Don’t forget to check out Celestial.

Plugs: Amanda, Angela, Angelica, Aurora, Bewyz, Brittany, Candice, Cassie, Chloe, Chloe-Lynn, DarkYuna, Erin, Farin, Iced Glare, Iris, Kasey Kay, Kasie, Katz, Liz, Mari, Merryn, N’Qyztve, Shar, Shawn, Vikky

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The Chloe Three:

(1) If you could get groiny with an animated cartoon character who would it be?
lol…I can’t pick one.

(2) If you could do a weird warp thing and be in one television show for a season – which show would it be? And how would they introduce your character?
Alias…I would be introduced as some kind of evil character who ended up being an ally of the CIA in the end.

(3) BAM! You’re transformed into an inanimate object! What are you, why, and who’s using you?
I don’t know…a hair brush? I don’t really have a reason why and I don’t know who’d use me.

I’ve decided not to go to UTC. Between my craziness and the amount it was going to cost (it was going to be way more than we could afford)…it just wasn’t worth it. Instead, I’ll be going to Alabama A&M, which is a lot closer and a lot cheaper. I won’t be able to major in Religious Studies anymore, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t still learn about it. Besides, I can get a Diversity Scholarship at A&M (for being white) and I’ll probably get to work at the Madison County DHR, which is where I’d probably be working once I graduate anyway. Oh, and there’s also other financial aid for Social Work majors, which is something I could never find any info about with UTC.

You know what’s odd? I’m not really upset about NOT going to UTC. I mean, I thought I would be bummed out, and maybe that’ll come later, but its really not been that bad. About the only thing that I’m upset that I’ll miss is the Religious Studies, but, like I said, I can study that on my own.

For those of you who suggested that I just take risks…it’s not that simple. I can’t “just take a risk”. I don’t think that you understand the pain and fear that goes on in a panic attack. It’s not simply being afraid of things. It’s like a paralyzing fear. It causes your heart race, your stomach to hurt, your mind to go blank except for the fear that’s constantly rushing through it, and it makes you think that you’re literally dying. It’s like a heart attack or being stabbed in the stomach or something very traumatic. I understand that you probably haven’t experienced panic disorder or anything like that, but its a lot more serious than just getting over things by taking risks.

I have an appointment tomorrow to see my GI doctor. He’s supposed to be there and they’ve already called to confirm the appointment, so it shouldn’t have been cancelled without our knowledge this time. Hopefully that will go fine…and maybe he’ll be able to figure out if what’s wrong with my stomach really is muscle spasms. If it is, then maybe he can give me something (other than Tylenol) to calm it down and get the pain to go away.

Oh, I have a new fanlisting that I finished the other day. It’s for Hounds. Please go join it. Also, please go join Celestial. I’m sure that if you join and post that you’ll enjoy yourself. It’s really a great board. We just aren’t very active right now. I’m sure things will get more active the closer it gets to Summer.

Plugs: Almostcrazy, Chloe, Dea, Erin, Gene, Iris, Jeni, Kristie, Kristine, Lime, Steve

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I’ve had quite a few panic attacks and crying fits since last night. I’m very anxious about the whole going to Chattanooga thing. The last time I went somewhere without my family, I was put in the hospital for my craziness. I was completely shut off from my family…couldn’t call or anything. If I had been in there as long as the staff wanted to keep me there, then I wouldn’t have been able to talk to my family for at least 1-2 weeks. That caused me a lot of anxiety and stress then…and that stress level hasn’t gotten any easier. I mean, I know at UTC that I will be able to call home or talk to my parents via the internet. I know I won’t be completely shut off, but still, I have separation anxiety issues. I don’t want to leave them. I have to, but I don’t want to. I’ll probably cry everytime I think about moving until I finally go there. Then, I’ll probably cry for the first few days or weeks or maybe even months. I know that some people will suggest that I just stay at home and go to some in town school, but I can’t do that if I want to get a degree in both Religious Studies and Social Work. Sure, I could go to Alabama A&M if I wanted to just get the Social Work degree, but I want the RS degree as well.

Tomorrow, after my Human Growth and Development class, my parents and I are planning to go up to UTC and look around the campus some. We’ll see how far Holt Hall (Religious Studies) and the Metro Complex (Social Work) are from UTC Place. Holt Hall looks pretty far away from UTC Place, so we’ll see if I’ll be able to walk that far. There will probably be a lot of issues having to do with my knees and ankles. Hopefully, I won’t have too many problems with them while I’m at UTC, but there’s always that possibility with me. Especially with my klutziness.

I finished a new fanlisting today. It’s for Angel/Buffy/Faith. So, if you like the relationship between them, then please go join.

Also, don’t forget to go join Celestial.

Plugs: Alexandra, Alx, Angela, Erin, Iris, Kasie, Kristie, Merryn

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First of all, I would like to take a moment to tell everyone that I am NOT Bulimic. I know what my problem with throwing up sounds like, but trust me…I’m NOT Bulimic. I don’t binge and purge to lose weight. I just miss throwing up because I used to do it after every meal after my surgery. I used to not be able to keep much food down because of the surgery, and if I even ate 1 bite too much, I would throw everything up. As violent as throwing up was, it became a normal part of my life. I was shocked when I didn’t throw up. Now that I know what triggers my throwing up, I avoid those things that would be causing me to throw up. This means I don’t throw up. This is very different from how my life worked for quite a while. Since, it was such a normal thing for me to do, I do miss it. I appreciate everyone’s concern, but trust me…if my missing throwing up is anything, its an obsessive-compulsive thing, much like my Tylenol addiction. Oh, Ashie, it actually doesn’t taste that bad to throw up for me anymore. Since my surgery caused the acid to be in another part of my stomach, the part where my food goes in at first (the pouch) has no acid to make it taste bad. Now, when I throw up, I just throw up the chewed up food that I’ve just eaten. It’s basically just a regurgitation thing now…

Now that I’ve thoroughly disgusted everyone…

I got my corrections submitted for my financial aid. I hope that everything gets worked out for it. I really do need the financial aid, so hopefully, the government will get my form–corrections and all. I also applied for student housing for next year. I’m going to be in the UTC Place Apartments. I still have to find 3 roommates. I hope I don’t end up with total psychos or weirdos. Maybe I’ll end up with some cool folks. Oh, and instead of having to find Twin XL bed stuff for the apartment, I’ll have a full-size bed. Yay! I so love full-size beds. They’re so spacious, and there are so many more options for bedding for them!

My cousin and his wife had a baby day before yesterday. My parents and I didn’t even know that Karyn was pregnant, but apparently she was. Anyways…they had a baby boy. I haven’t seen him yet, but I bet he’s a cutie.

Alexandra, my whole point about ABC being run by evil monkeys was that they don’t properly care for Alias. They don’t advertise it well enough. In fact, sometimes, they don’t advertise it at all. That’s part of the reason it isn’t the “most notorious”. Also, I’d never heard of it being called a “fill-in show” by anyone, so I doubt that “most everyone” knows that little “fact”.

I want to remind everyone to go join Celestial. We really need to make that place more active. The more active that each person can make it, the better. Actually, if everyone starts to post more, then more folks will join.

Erin, thank you for congratulating me on the 8 month anniversary since my surgery. That was a very sweet thing for you to do. It’s hard to believe its been 8 months. I’ve lost quite a bit since then (about 90 pounds)…unfortunately, I’ve kinda hit a plateau in pounds. I hope it ends soon because I still have about 100 or so pounds to lose.

Oh, and Erin, congratulations on being asked back on the Sharon Osbourne show. That really rocks.

Plugs: Alexandra, Angela, Ashie, Brooke, Iris, Jo, Robyn, Tara, Tess

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