The Cost of Panic and Education 27

The Chloe Three:

(1) If you could get groiny with an animated cartoon character who would it be?
lol…I can’t pick one.

(2) If you could do a weird warp thing and be in one television show for a season – which show would it be? And how would they introduce your character?
Alias…I would be introduced as some kind of evil character who ended up being an ally of the CIA in the end.

(3) BAM! You’re transformed into an inanimate object! What are you, why, and who’s using you?
I don’t know…a hair brush? I don’t really have a reason why and I don’t know who’d use me.

I’ve decided not to go to UTC. Between my craziness and the amount it was going to cost (it was going to be way more than we could afford)…it just wasn’t worth it. Instead, I’ll be going to Alabama A&M, which is a lot closer and a lot cheaper. I won’t be able to major in Religious Studies anymore, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t still learn about it. Besides, I can get a Diversity Scholarship at A&M (for being white) and I’ll probably get to work at the Madison County DHR, which is where I’d probably be working once I graduate anyway. Oh, and there’s also other financial aid for Social Work majors, which is something I could never find any info about with UTC.

You know what’s odd? I’m not really upset about NOT going to UTC. I mean, I thought I would be bummed out, and maybe that’ll come later, but its really not been that bad. About the only thing that I’m upset that I’ll miss is the Religious Studies, but, like I said, I can study that on my own.

For those of you who suggested that I just take risks…it’s not that simple. I can’t “just take a risk”. I don’t think that you understand the pain and fear that goes on in a panic attack. It’s not simply being afraid of things. It’s like a paralyzing fear. It causes your heart race, your stomach to hurt, your mind to go blank except for the fear that’s constantly rushing through it, and it makes you think that you’re literally dying. It’s like a heart attack or being stabbed in the stomach or something very traumatic. I understand that you probably haven’t experienced panic disorder or anything like that, but its a lot more serious than just getting over things by taking risks.

I have an appointment tomorrow to see my GI doctor. He’s supposed to be there and they’ve already called to confirm the appointment, so it shouldn’t have been cancelled without our knowledge this time. Hopefully that will go fine…and maybe he’ll be able to figure out if what’s wrong with my stomach really is muscle spasms. If it is, then maybe he can give me something (other than Tylenol) to calm it down and get the pain to go away.

Oh, I have a new fanlisting that I finished the other day. It’s for Hounds. Please go join it. 🙂 Also, please go join Celestial. I’m sure that if you join and post that you’ll enjoy yourself. It’s really a great board. We just aren’t very active right now. I’m sure things will get more active the closer it gets to Summer. 🙂

Plugs: Almostcrazy, Chloe, Dea, Erin, Gene, Iris, Jeni, Kristie, Kristine, Lime, Steve

About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.

27 thoughts on “The Cost of Panic and Education

  • Erin

    as long as you are happy with what you are doing.. you are a grown independent women and know whats right and wrong for you. im glad your feeling better hun.. good luck.. *erin

  • Shawn

    It’s good that your not extremely bummed about not going to UTC. Also, it’s good that you’ve found an alternative that is closer and cheaper, which could be a major reason your not too bummed out. But, I’m sorry you won’t get to major in what you wanted to. 🙁

  • Vikky

    Oh dear. A friend of mine suffers from panic attacks. It looks like a truly terrible thing. My heart goes out to you. I like that you’re going to study RS independently. I really respect you for that. Ttyl hun =o)

  • Kasie

    I have panic attacks all the time. I have a disorder. I hate the feeling of it. They suck. Ugh.. Good Luck. Its hard to make a decision about college, but its going you decided about it. Good luck!!

  • DarkYuna
  • Mari

    Nice layout. Religious Studies? Cool. I don’t like taking risk either.. I panic all the time, lol

  • Merryn
  • N'Qyztve

    wow. i think we’re fated or something. lol this is the 3rd time im commenting on your site. 🙂 haha. ive never heard of the chloe three till now. wow. lol

  • Candice

    WOW! cool layout! 😉 feat. buffy right? lmao. 😛 and what’s UTC? rofl.. i’m dumb.

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