I’ve had quite a few panic attacks and crying fits since last night. I’m very anxious about the whole going to Chattanooga thing. The last time I went somewhere without my family, I was put in the hospital for my craziness. I was completely shut off from my family…couldn’t call or anything. If I had been in there as long as the staff wanted to keep me there, then I wouldn’t have been able to talk to my family for at least 1-2 weeks. That caused me a lot of anxiety and stress then…and that stress level hasn’t gotten any easier. I mean, I know at UTC that I will be able to call home or talk to my parents via the internet. I know I won’t be completely shut off, but still, I have separation anxiety issues. I don’t want to leave them. I have to, but I don’t want to. I’ll probably cry everytime I think about moving until I finally go there. Then, I’ll probably cry for the first few days or weeks or maybe even months. I know that some people will suggest that I just stay at home and go to some in town school, but I can’t do that if I want to get a degree in both Religious Studies and Social Work. Sure, I could go to Alabama A&M if I wanted to just get the Social Work degree, but I want the RS degree as well.
Tomorrow, after my Human Growth and Development class, my parents and I are planning to go up to UTC and look around the campus some. We’ll see how far Holt Hall (Religious Studies) and the Metro Complex (Social Work) are from UTC Place. Holt Hall looks pretty far away from UTC Place, so we’ll see if I’ll be able to walk that far. There will probably be a lot of issues having to do with my knees and ankles. Hopefully, I won’t have too many problems with them while I’m at UTC, but there’s always that possibility with me. Especially with my klutziness.
Also, don’t forget to go join Celestial. 🙂