Okay, I know that Courtney wants to move on with her life, but what happened at Nova last night affected more than just her.
If you missed it, she said that she was super depressed, then she said she wanted to kill herself, then she said she’d taken pills…so Nova went into a frenzy trying to make sure she was okay. We posted all the information we could think of, and some people called people that they thought might be her. Eventually I realized that I had her address, so I shared that on Nova, and sometime around the time that I did that, the police went to check on her. Not only was she fine, but she had lied about taking pills and everything. Then, apparently, she went on Nova and started bitching people out and saying all kinds of things. She had all of the posts related to what happened deleted (I understood not wanting her address out there for all the world to see). Then this afternoon she comes on and apologizes. I guess her apology is okay, the whole thing really bugs me.
Honestly, I was very worried last night, and I thought that we were going to lose Courtney, and that’s very scary. You get used to talking to someone and getting to know them, and then realizing that they might not be around anymore is just very scary.
I understand why Courtney wanted the threads deleted, especially the one with her address and such in it (which I wouldn’t have posted if I hadn’t been afraid that she was really dying), but in a way it doesn’t really seem right to delete them.
I don’t want her to have a huge invasion of privacy, but deleting those posts in a way is like saying that last night didn’t happen. I have an online diary that I wrote in when my depression was at its worst and I have entries where I said I wanted to kill myself…I won’t delete those. I don’t want to ever forget that desperation or pain, and to delete the entries would be like trying to delete a part of my past.
I also understand what its like to be the crazy girl or whatever because being the incredibly honest person that I strive to be, I sent a letter out to a lot of my friends when I was going through all of my problems and told them that I cut and that I wanted to kill myself and that I had all of this stuff going on. Some of the ones I was closest to haven’t talked to me since (its been almost 3 years). Others that I thought didn’t think much of me started sending me care packages, calling me, e-mailing me, etc. Anytime I feel the slightest bit down, I know I can turn to those people. Having them know about what was wrong was actually better in the long
Courtney, I’m not really upset off at you, just annoyed that you said that you’d taken the pills…I didn’t want you to have taken them, but I didn’t want you to be lying either. And I don’t even get why you lied, unless you wanted us to think you’d died…I hope that you’ll come back to Nova for good one of these days…