I got this from SarahandBryan’s diary. It almost made me cry.

Mommy
Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl,
I did what I was told,
I went to school,
I got straight A’s and B’s,
I even got the gold!
But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye,
I’m sorry Mommy, I had to go,
But Mommy, please don’t cry.
When Johnny shot the gun,
He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny,
Got the gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy;
That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack, my boyfriend,
That it wasn’t just a crush.
And tell my little sister,
That she is the only now.
And tell my dear sweet Grandmother,
I’ll be waiting for her now.
And tell my wonderful friends,
That they always were the best.
Mommy, I’m not the first,
I’m no better then the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers,
I won’t show up for class.
And never to forget this,
And please don’t let this pass.
Mommy, why’d it have to be me?
No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others.
Mommy, I left without a first kiss.
And Mommy, tell the doctors
I know they really did try.
I think I even saw the Doctor
Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I’m slowly dying,
With a bullet in my chest.
But Mommy, please remember,
I’m in heaven with the rest.
Mommy, I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack.
Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I’m not coming back.
I wanted to go to college.
I wanted to try things that were new.
I guess I’m not going with Daddy
On that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married.
I wanted to have a kid.
I wanted to be a singer.
Mommy, I wanted to live.
But Mommy, I must go now,
The time is getting late.
Mommy tell my boyfriend,
I’m sorry, I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have.
I know you know it’s true.
And Mommy all I wanted to say is,
“Mommy, I love you.”

Sex God’s diary has been deleted. I’m sure I wasn’t the only person reporting him. But I am so thankful that such a hatefilled diary is gone!

Anyways…I was thinking…

Who are we to judge one another? That guy was going after anyone and everyone who was different from him. I try not to judge people, but I know I do…I’m human. I just hope I never go that far.

Honestly, who is a skinny person to say an overweight person is lazy? They don’t know that. A lot of that has to do with genetics.

Who is a heterosexual person to say that a homosexual person is only out for sex? That’s not true. They may not like the opposite sex, but I’m sure their hormones work the exact same way. Just because you like a different sex doesn’t mean that all you want is sex. That’s ludicrous.

Who are we to make fun of homeless people? They’ve had a rough go of it. How can we say that we should treat them poorly? We should try to help them out as much as possible?

People today judge one another based on external factors. No one really gets to know a person anymore. We just go on what they look like and what we’ve heard other people say about them.

Is that what this society is going to be like? A society only based upon outer appearances and rumors? That’s wrong!

Okay, onto other news…

I was wondering if any medical experts or older girls could help me out with a problem that’s been bothering me. (This could get disgusting.)

Okay, I have always had trouble with periods. They used to be super heavy and lasted for a month at a time and then would go away for three months. So I started to a GYN and she put me on BCP (Birth Control Pills) and they regulated me. Well, after a year and a half, I quit them. My periods stopped for nine months, and I went back. She put me on a different kind of BCP. Well, I went off of those back in September because they were causing my depression and stuff to get worse. So, I haven’t had a period since then. Is there something wrong with me? I’m afraid to go back to the GYN because I don’t want to go back on pills. I mean, it’s kind of nice to not have to worry about our “monthly friend”, but it’s kind of worrisome. I mean, what happens if this keeps up? Will I not be able to have kids? Obviously I used to have the right hormones to do this stuff. What’s wrong with me? Can anyone help?

Oh well…thank goodness BBS hasn’t been back to my diary, I just hope she hasn’t gone to anyone else’s.

Well, I guess that’s all for now.

My mom is giving me my razors back! Yay! No more hairy legs! I’m not gonna use them to hurt myself. Just hope for me or pray for me or think happy thoughts about it. Let’s all hope I don’t hurt myself. I’m sure I won’t.

I try to just let some of the mean messages slide, but the BBS was a bit too personal. Attacking me is one thing. Attacking my friends and saying our friends/family should die is another. I can’t keep from getting a bit piffed at something like that.

Anyways…I spent part of the afternoon over at Tiff’s house. I had to “baby-sit” her while she cleaned house and played Diablo. (That looked like an interesting game.)

Anyways…my nose is so stuffy. It sucks. I’m not sick perse, I’m just stopped up. It’s probably my allergies.

Everyday my mom seems more and more like herself. That’s such a relief. I’m happier to see my mommy back than I’ve ever been.

I keep having weird dreams that the doctor put me back in the hospital. I keep thinking my friends are in there, too. (In the dreams.) It really upsets me while I’m sleeping and when I wake up.

Dolphingoddess – I can’t believe you didn’t know I liked *NSYNC. I LOVE *NSYNC. They’re my favorites. I’m totally addicted to them. Justin is my favorite. (My favorite scene from an *NSYNC vid. is from Tearin’ Up My Heart when Justin’s on the bed in the wifebeater. Can we say cute?) LOL. I act like such a teenybopper sometimes.

OMG…I can’t believe in less than 9 months, I will officially be an adult. It’s amazing. It seems like just yesterday I was getting out of elementary school. Wow. I’m not a little kid anymore. This is amazing. It’s just hit me like a ton of bricks.

Oh well…I’ll ttyl.

My teeth hurt pretty badly. I had to go to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned. I hate getting my teeth cleaned, but I guess it’s necessary.

Anyways…I saw Pop yesterday. It’s such an awesome song and video. I loved it.

So, I didn’t call JA yesterday. I decided that he might not be home. (I’m chicken aren’t I?) I had to work in my room and then I decided to watch MTV’s Making the Video for Pop. I guess, the five dudes from Orlando are just the guys I wanted to spend my Memorial Day with. I mean, it was raining around here, so he might have been home, but I didn’t want to pull him away from his family. I may call him today or tomorrow. It depends on how I feel.

We got rid of all but 5 of the piggies on Sunday night. I was quite upset. (I cried…a lot!) It was like part of my family leaving and never coming back. Not dying, but almost.

I have to work on Moon Stars’ diary sometime this week. I hope she likes it. I’ll probably just screw it up and she’ll be really upset. No, I have to have faith in myself. Hopefully, she’ll like it. Hopefully.

I guess that’s all for now.

BTW – Welcome to my diary, BBS…leave Del, Stacy, Kelly, Kellen, and Josh alone. None of us deserves your bashing.

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