Okay so yesterday like totally sucked with the shootings and the fallout with Heather. (I’m still mad at her, btw.) I don’t think I’ll be as forgiving this time. I shouldn’t have been this past time. I mean she hurt me…bad. I actually do care about what people say about/to me on and offline. Last time, she called me a fat slob who couldn’t sing. She also said some other crap. That was after I had defended her before that with other online friends. I lost my friendships with them due to her and it sucks so bad ’cause sometimes I think I could still be their friend if she wouldn’t have come into the picture. It’s like she thinks it’s so fun to tear apart message boards. I don’t know. It’s pitiful. She sparked a fight and she hasn’t got the guts to stay around.
Anyways, onto other news…my family is too poor for me. Or that’s how I feel. With all my meds, allergy shots, and therapy…they’re paying like $300 a month. I can’t go anywhere because I either a.) have a panic attack or b.) start hurting (in my back and hips) too much. Sometimes I blame myself for my family not having much money. I know it’s not true, but it sure does feel like it.
I feel really bad for the families who lost children yesterday. It still saddens me. What’s weird is this could’ve been prevented. In most cases, it could’ve been. I mean, the kid “joked” about killing people. If someone were to joke about something like that with me, I would be scared to death. I would’ve at least told my mom. I know that may seem kind of stupid or snitchy, but it would’ve worried me.
Anyways, I guess that’s all for now.